MISSION:
The Shindigg was what I was hoping for a great time and a total mad house. Boats on fire, 500$ in fireworks going off at random, people falling from the barn and Big fat waves.
My buddy Scotty Findel from Alberta showed up in the Biggest truck I have seen since the last time I was in Alberta. and it was great to get caught up with an old friend. White mud wave was in, the biggest wave I have ever surfed. It was awesome, Right in the middle of a bunch of other monsters. Steve fisher named it Heart Breaker. The reason was apparent after the first couple rides too, sometimes its there and sometimes its not and it’s a lot of work for a ride when its not there….. If you want to see the surfer you have to be in the eddy the shore is a mile away and even then you the paddler dissapear deep into a hole in the water only popping up for viewing when you were at the top of the wave. The ferry was epic to get out to the wave, the paddle back to the wave ferry was even more of a trip and speaking of trip. It’s a deep one when it breaks on you….. the waves weight stuffs you deep under the surface to the twilight of green and quiet.
Each year the Shindig crew all take beginners down the river and show them around. Rolling clinic, surfing clinics and play clinics are put on. The party always gets out of hand.
The event is based around a beautiful wave called Sturgeon and it was fantastic. At a higher level it was not as steep as you might think it would be. Great wave just the same, big glassy beast you could huck your brains out on….. I got pics……
Big props to The organizers, the food was amazing, the whole event held in a really wicked barn….. with century tools surprisingly left untouched on the walls. Actually I think that they are wired down…….
2E Oh I hate you so.
I am not sure what I hate the most about sitting in 2E. I was excited at first, the front of the plane on my way to Manitoba. Being at the front like that it makes me feel like the hood ornament on a 25 million dollar chariot or something. Almost like royalty. There I was the Gangis Khan of Whitewater,(mostly just in my mind) on my way to conquor another unsuspecting wave……. Then I remembered my brothers words “ the front end that plane hits the ground first idiot, so don’t get too fired up with the seating”. That snapped me back to the fact the plane was full and the line started. While I was watching people waddle by it hit me, “a toilet” one that I could reach with my arm, oh no. I thought to myself ahh the plane won’t be that full I can move.
Two Seconds Later, “this is your captin speaking, we have a full plane today and we are ahead of schedual for a change so buckle up”
All I heard was, “bla bla bla your gonna be smelling butt’s for the entire flight”
The Parade started at 31000 feet, just after snack pax’s and drinks, ever time the door beside me opens I get a horrible whiff of sanitary fluid and it blows over my entire body, ever time someone steps out the door. And that sports fans is when I am actually lucky, I felt like asking the parade members cued up for what amounts to a mud blowing contest, “number one or number 2” Just so I could brace myself for the onslaught. Not sure what I hate more about 2e. The tell tale sucking sound every time the toilet pulls some horrible concoction down the drain, or the passengers ample RUMPS that seem to fit so perfectly in my seat when they back up to get the door open. My NOT SO favorite is what I call the “double tap”. When 2 people swap positions, a stinky rump coming out needs space from the one going in, the next in line going in throw’s it into reverse and I get a cheek to cheek so-to-speak. So the non stinker mashe’s me in the face, switchs positions with the stink butt which also mash’s me in the face. both plugging my emergency exit from the seat and perfectly fitting in my personal space like a sadistic torture of some kind. All I can think is I wana kill the engineer who designed this thing. Fine him with hot food puree and 12 hours both ways in this very seat… You don’t really realize how much the population has “gained” until they back up into your seating area and block the view. As I said, its really not all that bad until you realize 2 hours into the flight that You can identify what people are eating by the smell. I don’t mean that in a nice, “oh that’s chocolate”, or “what kind of cake is that” either. Its when the sanitary fluid doesn’t quite kill the stench completely and the dirty old men are the worst. I pulled a blanket over my head, to offer some view blockage and some privacy from the parade and for some reason It brought the butt’s closer… Butt’s found themselves resting on my seat while they too turns polluting the atmosphere. All the while taking away my temporary privacy with the gentle bump or soft push of someones rear end on my face. This leads me to send a heartfelt thanks to the Overpaid engineers designing this thing I hope some horrible giant but parks on their face someday from this seat. I would like to flush his head down the toilet myself and I could do that from my seat for sure.. Or better yet jam him in this seat for 4-hour flight serving asparagus.
On a mission,
BIlly Harris
